“My name is Derek Walton, and this scrap of paper will be probably be my last will and testament.

I have been stranded on this island for what now seems an eternity. It is a barren and featureless place, completely cut off from the world, where the sun beats down with the merciless ferocity.

There are only a few tough shrubs that are edible, and I doubt these will sustain me for long. Indeed, I think my hunger has already caused me to hallucinate. I can almost see my long-lost family beckoning me from the horizon. Their plaintive cries a reminder of how hopeless my situation is.

I fear my end is not far away, and must stop writing now. I can only hope that some future traveler will find this note and I will not be totally forgotten by the world.”

(30 minutes later Derek was rescued from the traffic island on the Bereksford bypass and reunited with his family, who had been waiting patiently on the hard shoulder. Shortly after, his wife was recorded as telling him “to pull yourself together and not to be such a drama queen!”)