Pre-Flight Nerves
Thank you for choosing Anxiety Airlines.
“After flying with us, you’ll never fly with anyone else!”
For your viewing pleasure, the following will be available on our multi-channel entertainment screens:
Ch.1 – Lost (pilot episode)
Ch.2 – Cast Away
Ch.3 – Alive
Ch.4 - Final Destination
Drinks and snacks are available throughout the flight, and meals are served soon after take-off. Just in case.
Please pay attention to the safety demonstration, especially the ‘put-your-head-between-your-legs-and-kiss-your-ass-goodbye’ position in the event the plane comes crashing to earth in a spectacular fireball.
Our cruising height will be 30,000 ft, though this may be subject to rapid reduction during the flight.
We should be crashing landing anywhere within a thousand-mile vicinity of our destination.
We wish you a pleasant journey and continued survival afterwards.
